My Wife Is Like A V12 Engine —Gbemileke Oyinsan

Both on-air personalities, Gbemileke and Titi Oyinsan have been married for close to two years. New parents to twin girls, the much-loved couple relive the pros of being married to each other

How long have you been married?

Titi: We got married 17 months ago.

Was it love at first sight?

Oscar: No, it was more of friendship at first. I was on location working for Showtime Africa at that time and she was working for Soundcity. She thought I was a guest and for some reasons, she was fascinated by my shirt. She pulled me over for an interview only for her to find out that I also came there to work. After that, we began a good friendship, more professional because we were both in the media. We found out that we had common interests, goals, aspirations and background.

Titi: This was in 2008 and he had on a light pink shirt. I felt it was going to look good on camera and I had not even looked at his face.

When was the turning point in your friendship?

Titi: It did not turn. It just grew, improved and blossomed. We realised that we understood each other to a great extent. There were so many questions that people would ask about him and for some reasons, I would just know the answer and it was vice versa for him. We ended up going for events together. I don’t know if there was a particular time he asked me out, we just found ourselves dating.

How do you view being in the same industry?

Oscar: Most of the respect we have for each other stems from the fact that we are in the same industry and we have a common passion. It is a bonus and bedrock of everything we do. The love, romance and every other thing are offshoots of that.

You were once colleagues…

Oscar: We both worked at Inspiration FM for three years and most people did not know we were dating until our second year there. Since we presented a show together, we got on air and did our job. A lot of our colleagues probably thought we were just close or we knew each other before and there was a strong friendship. It was not until we both started inviting them to each other’s functions that they started getting the hint that we were more than just co-hosts on air.

How were you able to keep it professional?

Titi: First of all, God and secondly, patience, which is key. I was learning a lot of things from him and a lot of times, he would scold me for things I did wrong in the studio. He would give me a lot of instructions and I would rebel against them. However, I was gaining more from obeying instructions. He knew that he could trust me to be level-headed. If, for instance, we had an argument in the studio off-air, he trusts me to continue the show on-air as if all was well.

Was it difficult deciding who should go and who should stay on the job?

Oscar: Truth is, as at the time I left, it was new grounds for management. They had not had that kind of situation on their hands before; so there was no set rule. They were not completely against it but as a man, I did not want all my eggs in one basket and I was working on setting up a media company. There was no way I could do that with the routine of Inspiration FM. I was happy and satisfied that Titi had gotten to a point that she could handle the show we both used to present. There were a lot of incentives to make me stay but I was at a point where I knew what I wanted. It was not just about working; it was about setting a path for my family. I had proposed, we had been engaged for a year and I needed to think ahead. I had to move out and move on.

Did you experience opposition?

Oscar: We had a lot of that from family and friends. Till tomorrow, a lot of people are still sceptical about the union because in the industry, there have been a lot of divorces. We are in a world where divorce is the new break-up. My parents have been married for 40 years, hers have been married for 29 years; we come from a background of families that have struggled and stayed together and most importantly, have respect for the institution called marriage. Also, we are Christians, not as a religion, but in principle.

When did you decide to propose?

Oscar: Our third year at Inspiration FM was a major turning point for me. I just thought if I could come to work with this woman off-air, on–air and I still feel this way, it must either be I am pretending which means I would pretend for the rest of my life or I genuinely love her. If you do love at first sight, or all these fancy things that really look good in movies, once those things go, we are left with friendship. It is the friendship and the companionship that would matter. Sometimes, if you find people not enjoying their marriage, they probably got into it for different reasons. There was no foundation of friendship and a lot of people are eager to settle down.

How did you propose?

Oscar: I did not have so much money and I wanted to keep it simple. There were a lot of expectations as to who Titi would marry and I did not let it get to me because I knew what I wanted. Since it was my birthday and we worked the night at a red carpet event, I got a room at the penthouse of a hotel. We ordered breakfast in the morning and one of the waiters came with three domes, the first two contained food and the third, a ring. I went down on my knees and proposed. Of course, it took a while for us to convince our families.

Why?

Oscar: Due to the nature of our jobs

What are those things you want to change about her?

Oscar: I would not change anything about her because she brings out the best and the worst in me. She is very stubborn, which could be a plus if harnessed properly. My wife is like a V12 engine, which if you set the engine towards a wall and say ‘ram that wall’, it is the same energy she would use to ram that wall that she would use to give you headache if you don’t give her what she wants. If I had given up, I would not have been a father to our beautiful twin girls.

Titi: He is good the way he is. Besides, it is not about changing someone, it is about improving the other person and redirecting that energy you consider negative. One of the many things I respect him for, is how he treats others with respect. He honours and believes in them, no matter how many times I state my doubts about a person. I have learnt a lot from him.

Who is the first to apologise when you quarrel?

Oscar: It is not about who started the fight, it is about how soon we resolve the issue and make sure that particular situation does not occur again. I can count the number of times my father has raised his voice against my mother. One of the reasons why I and my wife get along so well is that there is a lot of contrast.

Since becoming parents to your twin girls, do you still find time for each other?

Oscar: We must give credit to our mothers-in-law especially, Titi’s mum who has literally been with us from the beginning. We do find time once in a while and spending some could be as simple as taking a drive, a walk or seeing a movie.

Is he romantic?

Titi: According to my mum, and she tells me this all the time, ‘Leke is so romantic.’ This is because he could come home with a piece of cake or something pretty in a pink box. There was an evening he came home with a box of chocolates for my mum. I appreciate those smaller things than the bigger ones.

Do you have pet names for each other?

Titi: I call him Leke when I want to ask for something. I call him Gbemileke when I am exasperated about something and I call him ‘Baby’ when I am happy. The nickname we have both come to accept is Baba Ibeji and Mama Ibeji. It drives us nuts but it’s something to be happy about.

Oscar: I don’t know if it’s a nickname but I call her, ‘My guy’ when I need something. When I am angry, it’s her full name, Titilayo.