Seeing Your Partner As Your ‘Other Half’ Might Spell Doom In Your Relationship – Research

A new study in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology has found that relationships, much like most things in life, are all about perspective. When you see love as a beautiful journey of growth and occasional struggle, your love life is more likely to prosper. When you want your relationship to be perfect or believe you have one and only soul mate to “complete” you, you’re likely to have a tough time sustaining happiness in love. Luckily, improving that kind of emotional rut is as easy as a simple shift in perspective. The study divides views on love into two “frames” — a union between two halves who are made for each other, or a journey with ups and downs. To better explain the unity concept, the research team linked it to an Aristotle quote: “Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.” People who see love like a journey, on the other hand, are more likely to relate to traditional wedding vows that promise to love one another for better or for worse.

The research team surveyed 73 participants who’d been committed, engaged or married for at least six months. Without being told about the two frames, participants were asked to take a short quiz in which they identified five phrases and indicated whether they’d heard them before. Some of the phrases had nothing to do with romance, but others were designed to veer the participant’s mind toward one of the two frames. Phrases like “my better half” and “made for each other” got quiz-takers thinking in terms of unity, and phrases like “look how far we’ve come” indicate a journey mindset. Once they’d been unknowingly exposed to one of the frames, participants were told to either describe two times they’d fought with their partner, or two times they celebrated together. After that, they numerically rated their satisfaction with the relationship. In follow-up research, participants were also asked to identify pairs of geometric shapes that pointed toward either circular unity or a maze that indicated a journey.

Participants who’d been exposed to the unity mindset reported much lower satisfaction with their relationships after describing a fight — likely because they were comparing their real-life relationship to the Disney movie ideal the unity frame makes us think of. Participants who’d been exposed to the journey frame reported pretty much equal levels of satisfaction whether they were recalling a fight or a celebration, because they viewed their relationship’s ups and downs as an expected part of the whole package, and perhaps even a growth opportunity. The participants who recalled celebrations reported satisfaction across the board, so viewing love as a unified ideal isn’t so harmful when times are good. It’s when rough patches hit that a unity frame becomes problematic, because you’ll find yourself wondering if small hurdles with your partner are really sign that you’re incompatible instead of a small blip in the grand scheme of your relationship. After all, if you felt that you and your partner were made solely for each other, it’d be hard to understand why you’d ever have to disagree.

Essentially, taking the unity frame to heart can sometimes lead a person to believe that simply finding a partner is when life’s struggles end and that from then on, your compatibility will do the work to stave off conflict. Romantic comedies certainly don’t help with this. In reality, life’s ups and downs will still hit us hard, whether we’re coupled or not, and even the happiest of pairs may come up against disagreement. While some people are more compatible with us than others, I do think there is way more than one potential soul mate out there for each of us — at the end of the day, it’s about choosing someone, “made for each other” or not, and setting out to find whether you’re able to grow together on your journey.

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10 Signs You’ve Truly Fallen In Love

What they say about love is true — when you know, you know.

But pinpointing the very moment that your feelings went from serious attraction to full-blown love? No easy task. On Wednesday, 10 romantic Redditors accepted the challenge.

Below they explain how they knew, without a doubt, that they were head-over-heels in love.

1. You go out of your way to make each other happy.

“We used to be long distance. One night I was crying on the phone to him because I missed him so much. At 4 a.m. that morning I got a call saying he was outside. He drove all night to give me a cuddle because I was sad.”

2. You might differ personality-wise but you have some random (and awesome) things in common.

“Toward the end of our first date, her friends call her. Her phone rings and her ringtone is ‘Dayman’ from ‘Always Sunny’. She gets off the phone looks at me and asks what’s wrong because I have a dumbfounded look on my face. I told her to call my phone right now. She does. ‘Dayman’ is my ringtone. We knew.”

3. Doing mundane things together is not only tolerable, it’s enjoyable.

“We can spend hours upon hours talking about nothing and never get bored with each other.”

4. You’re totally at ease around each other and can be yourself.

“A couple of months into our relationship I was in the shower and she knocks on the door. ‘I need to weeee!’ she says. ‘Just come in! The door’s open!’ I reply. She came in, had her wee, washed her hands and then opened the shower door, said ‘Nice ass’, slapped me on the butt and left. Right then, I knew I was with somebody really special. That was three years ago and we’re now happily married.”

5. You start referring to yourselves as a “we” without skipping a beat.

“Whenever he would speak about the future, he always included me in it. It was never a ‘I’, it was a ‘we’. It was our future.”

6. You’re there for each other during the really tough sh*t.

“Until recently I was a total junkie f*ck-up with potential. I spent my 20s using hydromorphone and fentanyl and heroin — amongst other things and was an idiot. But a functional idiot. And she stood by me and I’m clean now. She almost didn’t. I got one chance and I took it.”

7. Laughter is a constant.

“We laughed at almost anything together — the night we decided we were right together was spent in a tent giggling until 5 a.m. sharing the same sleeping bag. Eleven months on and we’re still as happy as when we first got together.”

8. You have physical chemistry that goes beyond sex.

“On our first date, she stayed over. We didn’t do the nookie times, but I did feel something click as she snuggled in and fell asleep with her head on my chest.”

9. You melt a little when you see your S.O.’s parental instincts shining through.

“A few months into dating we were at a party and a friend was there with his daughter. The way my S.O. was interacting with her and playing around with her made me realize that I want her to be the mother of my children.”

10. You’re different in all the right ways.

“He balances me out. I run on instinct and he thinks things through. I take him to things he would never go to otherwise and he shows me how to relax. We have so much fun together and he

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Relationships: Seven (gentle) ways to get a man to do anything you want

How could a guy get pissed at a girl who’s just spent the whole day giving him what he wants?”

1. Don’t Fear The Damsel In Distress Act
“Whenever I want a guy to do something, I put the sweet on and act innocent. I’ll do just about everything except bat my eyelashes — but it works! Even though I’m not naïve, I’ll act that way and put a little extra sugar on everything I say and do toward him,” says Erin.

2. Bring Backup
“My boyfriend loves surprises (even though he’d never admit that), so I always come prepared. If I want him to go out with me and my girlfriends one night, or if I want him to help me clean the apartment, I make sure to stop and pick up something that he’ll really love — or something that he’s been hinting that he wants. There’s no arguments, no huffing and puffing — just a little surprise and then he’s in my pocket,” says Lisa,
“Seriously, it doesn’t get any easier than that.”

3. Make Him Think The Idea Was His
“My mom let me in on a secret when my husband and I first started dating. She said that the best way to get through anything was to make him think it was his idea. You’ve got to be coy, but whenever I want Jed to do something,” says Hannah, “I make sure he thinks he came up with it — even if he knows he didn’t. The fact that I’m conceding (and letting him think he’s won) is the best way to get through everything.”

4. Go Old School
“Call me crazy, but I just ask nicely — like, really, really nicely. If my guy knows that it’s important to me, I just tell him how important it is and then I promise to make it up to him afterward,” Tara says, “How could a guy say no to that?”

5. Kill ‘Em With Kindness
“Oh,” says Morgan, “I make sure to butter him up well before I ask him to do anything. So it doesn’t look too obvious, I’ll start much earlier in the day and just make him feel really good about himself. Then, when he’s all buttered up, I’ll let him know that we’re going to spend the weekend with my parents! How could a guy get pissed at a girl who’s just spent the whole day giving him what he wants?”

6. Lean In… For A Kiss
“There’s nothing sweeter than a long kiss before asking for something,” Meagan jokes, “It’s kind of my way of saying ‘Yes, I need something from you, but I’m not gonna fight you for it.’ I think a guy can appreciate that — and uh, who doesn’t love a hot, steamy kiss?”

7. Give One, Get One
“I go first,” Brittany says. “I’ll make dinner for my boyfriend and then he’ll take the lead and clean up — without me having to nag. Or I’ll buy him dinner and then the next time we go out for a date, he picks up the check. I think by seeing me take the initiative first, he’s more likely to realize that he wants to do something nice in return. It’s give one, get one, but for relationships, ha!”

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Scarlet Johansson Explains Why Porn Is Good For Women

Scarlett Johansson has spoken in favour of women enjoying porn, claiming it can be “productive for both men and women”.

Speaking ahead of her latest film, Don Jon, about a porn-obsessive, Johansson said she would be “flabbergasted” to discover her boyfriend was addicted to porn, but did not think it was bad thing.

She told Marie Claire: “I’m sure I should have some very well-developed view on [porn’s] effect on society, the ethics behind it and how it affects the kind of relationship between men and women and how it objectifies women. But I don’t really think about it.”

She added she thought porn might help both partners be less self-conscious about sex and satisfy some curiosity: “I think porn, like anything else, can be enjoyed. It can be productive for both men and women.”

The film, which sees Johansson play the love interest to Joesph Gordon-Levitt’s porn-obsessive character, is one of the latest movies to explore sex obsession and the porn industry, following this year’s Lovelace, and 2011’s Shame.

Speaking about her attitude towards porn, Amanda Seyfried, who starred in Lovelace as renown porn star Linda Lovelace, said she thought women "should be free to watch it and make it".

She said: “I think there’ still are a lot of people being objectified, a lot of people involved who don’t want to be. But there’s a lot of porn being made for women, written by women.

“It’s great, it’ self expression, people should be free to watch it and make it it’s just how it’s depicted.

"Sex shouldn’t be depicted as something that’s so terrifying. And the access to it is scary and there are a lot of fetishes, but each to his own. I can’t judge porn.”

Don Jon is released in cinemas on Friday 15 November.

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Photos: Want To Satisfy Her In Bed? Women Get Turned On When You Touch THESE Parts Of Her Body

 Expand your repertoire: When it comes to arousal levels, women say the napé of their néck is more erogenous than their breasts, finds a new study.

That certainly doesn't mean you should avoid her breasts altogether. But there's a lot of middle ground when it comes to erogenous zones—meaning you should switch up your foréplay to maximize her pleasure.

Ready to test your knowledge on her favorite places to be touched? Check out what women (and men) had to say when they were asked to raté each bódy part in terms of level of arousal.

 

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10 Signs Your Ex Still Loves You

Relationships are truly hard to understand sometimes. The start is always beautiful and the end keeps you wondering how your relationships ever worked at all.

With short term affairs you move on and find the next one. But sometimes when real love develops the moving on can be pretty difficult. If you still have feelings for your ex and keep wondering whether your ex may still love you as well, here are the signs to look for.

Text messages and phone calls

People who are still in love tend to cling on to their ex partners, and sometimes this shows itself in the form of trying to maintain a friendship. It doesn't mean that if your ex is friendly with you he/she definitely has feelings for you. But if you're getting text messages like “good night” or phone calls just to check how you're doing regularly then this could indicate that your ex is thinking about you often.

Your ex is still single

Generally speaking, when people have moved on from relationships totally, they look for new ones. But in the event that love is still lingering then they may opt to take time to themselves instead or to have only casual flings. Thus, unwillingness to recommit to someone new is certainly a thing to watch out for.

If you still share an intimate relationship

It's actually evident... Everybody likes sex, but people who have really moved on from a relationship are probably more likely to fulfill their needs elsewhere. If your ex keeps coming back to you after the break up then chances are that the break up needs to be reevaluated.

If your ex is trying to hurt you..

It's a bit ironic, but if your ex is saying things with the intention of hurting you then he or she almost certainly still has some feelings for you. Arguing is pretty much the number one cause of relationships breaking down, so arguing once a relationship has reached its end just doesn't make any sense. If your ex is behaving in such a way maybe you should consider cutting off such relationships. But probably it means that there are feelings present on both sides.

Your ex still visits the same hangouts

If your ex often appears at the places that you like, and keeps “randomly” bumping into you, then this could also be a sign of lingering feelings. Sometimes it is hard to determine if you and your ex shared a circle of friends to begin with, but just look for behaviors that may indicate that your ex is looking for the opportunity to meet you.

If your ex is trying to attract you

Your ex is trying to impress you: for example, a better job (when money was an issue in your relationships), changes in looks (in order to catch the eyes of their ex), etc. Such behavior could be a sign, too.

Mutual friends say so

Talk to mutual friends. Gossip doesn't stop after high school, so get into the thick of it and see what other people have to say; you might hear exactly what you want to hear.

Social networking websites point towards this

Social networks is one of the key tools nowadays to make others jealous. If you find that your ex has suddenly added new attractive friends then there may be a reason for this beyond simple extroversion. This is particularly true if you notice flirty wall comments floating back and forth between your ex and some new individual. If your ex seems to be out to make you jealous then it means that strong feelings remained.

Your ex is there for you..

If you are undergoing problems in life and your ex is there for you to support you, it may be a sign. Your ex being there for you doesn't necessarily mean that the relationship has hope of being revived, but...

If your ex is trying to see you often

Lastly, if your ex is still asking you to hang out or still making efforts to see you regularly then there could be hope for your relationship to start anew. After the relationships are over people stop "dating", but if your ex is treating you the same way as before, then it's likely that the feelings haven't changed that much.

However, remember: it's important that you don't allow yourself to be taken advantage of or strung along. There are those out there who can't let go of the past but still want nothing to do with it. Always recognize that the relationship may not have the capability to begin anew, but there are some situations where it certainly does.

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Signs That Reveal Your Marriage Is Headed For Divorce

Divorce is like a freight train, experts say. There are always signals but you may not understand them.

With the divorce rate rising day by day, it's important to nurture your relationship in order to safeguard your marriage against divorce. But how do you know if you are headed that way?The following signs are indicative that your marriage is about to crumble.

1. A fall off in frequency and quality of intimacy
“There is a definite lack of interest in sex and they don’t communicate about it and don’t do anything about it,” says Cardi. “Or they are in very different places on it. Basically, the trigger is that sex is not working and hasn’t worked in a while.”

2. Fighting or bickering more frequently than in the past: According to a family and divorce attorney-mediator in New York, N.Y., the arguments are redundant and never get resolved. “It’s  about the same topic over and over again,” she said. “You are arguing over the same issue and it increases in frequency. And there is no resolution. It doesn’t go anywhere.” Puhn says at the bottom of this and most relationship problems is communication.

3. Compromising no more: Understanding is a very important factor in every relationship. You need to understand each other’s needs and work accordingly. At times to make your partner happy, you might have to compromise or let go of something that is not as important as your love. As this fades away so does the hope that the marriage will survive.

4. Over-scheduling commitments and/or spending lots of time on the computer or Blackberry: Less face-to-face time, when it is intentional on one or both spouses parts, is strong indicator that a marriage is in jeopardy. There’s a certain amount of work that a person has to do but if you see it’s becoming more and more and more, and it continues to increase, especially over the holidays, that’s called distancing.

5. No repair: You try to repair the relationship and the marriage and want to go back to the time when sparks flew. But if you are being stonewalled by your partner and his lack of willingness to engage in conversation, then the likelihood of divorce is high.

6. Change in the manner in which a spouse handles his or her money: From a lawyer’s perspective, according to Cardi, the shifting around of accounts is far more telling than a spouse may let on. If one of the spouse is moving money, that’s a sign to that he’s already ready to get out of the marriage and move onto the divorce stage.

7. Daydreaming about being single or with someone other than your spouse: According to Puhn, this is the most serious sign of all because daydreaming often happens right before the divorce.

8. Spending time together: After marriage, each partner is often busy with their own schedules, but finding time for each other and spending time together is what makes all the difference. When you stop prioritising each other over friends and others and start moving in separate orbits, then it’s a sign of serious trouble.

The list can go on and on, but often times varies from couple to couple. In order to stay connected, marriage requires a lot of devotion and attention.

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6 Simple Ways To Get Your Girl Back After Break-Up

What happens when you are head-over-heels in love with your girl and she just breaks up with you out of the blue?

A lot of guys have been a victim of such but her saying it’s over does not necessarily mean it has to be.

Instead of pining and living in misery over the break up, how about you try these simple tips below to get your ex-girlfriend back.

Let her go: This may seem like you are doing the opposite of what feels natural, but women enjoy the process of the chase as much as men do. A post-break up woman will need validation that you are heart broken over her. By acting like you are over the relationship, this will naturally arouse her curiosity in you. If she is curious about you, then she is thinking about you, and this is always the first step. Women also do not like men who are indecisive. If you show that you have made a conscious decision and that you have followed through in getting over her, then she will keep thinking about you to try and figure it out. Yes, this means stop all texting, calling, Facebooking, emails etc. Do not act like your life is over. Act like everything has gone back to normal but just that little bit better. Yes, avoid drunk dialling or drunken texting. Remember, women are not attracted to guys that ‘need’ them.

Have fun: If you are seen having fun, then she will definitely know that you are over her, and will be curious about you. Keep in mind that most women have friends, and if they see you having fun, then it will be reported back to your ex girlfriend. She will remember what it was that originally attracted her to you. Keep in mind that ‘having fun’ does not constitute substance abuse – getting too drunk, too loud, or too rowdy. A lot of men fall into this trap, and it just reads as being pathetic. Have fun with confidence and she will notice.

Tease her: When you do get the chance to speak with her, then tease her a little – nothing too drastic, the point is not to insult her. The thing is women usually react to what they cannot have. If you appear emotionally unavailable and throw her a few insults, you will be surprised with the result. Women say they like nice guys, but really, they are not attracted to them. Start with something like, “I like your dress… I’ve been 3 other girls wearing the same one today.” Get the idea? Women are used to guys being overly nice to them. Do not do what they are doing.

Self Improvement: Pick up those weights, that guitar, learn that new language. Any endeavour into self improvement is not only a serious boost of confidence for you, it shows her that you look after yourself/are cultured etc and have other, interesting activities that you’d much rather put your time into. Again, this attitude may feel unnatural, but if your ex girlfriend sees what you could have been up to instead of spending time with her, this will arouse her curiosity, and give you a killer new hobby that will make you into a more learned, more creative, or fitter person (i.e more attractive person).

Never, ever, ever, ever bring up the possibility of getting back together again. Do not make the first move. Let her make the first move. The trick is to not to get your ex girlfriend to come back to you. It is to make it so that she cannot stay away from you. This can involve a lot of patience, but the pay off is always worth it.

Move on: Hey, if all of this doesn’t work out at the end of the day, then take the lessons that you’ve learned and move on. Dating other women is a good option. It boosts your confidence while making your ex girlfriend jealous, and could be the pathway to finding a relationship that works better than your previous one.

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For Men – 7 Types Of Ladies You Should Not Date!

Dear men, you think you can date any thing in skirt, huh? No, you should not. There are some women that you should not mess around. You should keep them at a distance to avoid getting what you did not bargain for…. Lol. Here, they are:

1. Your ex. It is advisable not to return to a past relationship especially if things did not end well. Yes, we remember our ex, especially when we are lonely but going back would only last for a short time, only to regret it.

2. Your wife’s best friend. She could be tempting but the end result could destroy everything you have worked hard to build. Never get too close to your wife’s friend no matter what.

3. Your Neighbor. Just because she is next door does not give you the right to go in and out. At first it could be fun but soon, she would be expecting a relationship and questioning who comes visiting and before you know it, she has moved temporarily into your apartment. Best of luck.

4. Women who have bad reputation. Run for cover. I know dating her can be fun, especially if she gives freely to any man that asks. If you can’t be seen with her outside, why stick with her?

5. The gold digger. Stay away from her, unless you want to empty your entire savings. Not only will she expect you to take care of all her needs, but will also pick faults with you and blame you for spending too much time with your family and friends.

6. Your co-worker. Maintain a high level of professionalism at your work place. Maintain only a work related relationship with your female co-workers and don’t go beyond that. Do not give into temptation by asking her out for a drink after work or you would end up starting what you cannot finish.

7. Your friend’s ex. If you value your friendship with your friend, avoid dating his ex. Word will go around your circle of friends and it will do no good to your reputation. Besides, it could strain your relationship. Also, the lady might be trying to get back at him through you. Avoid being used.

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Ten Tips to Manage Anger and Reduce Conflict in Relationships

Conflict and disagreement are inevitable in relationships. Anger is a natural emotion, and disagreements can be healthy sign of difference. Conflict usually occurs because certain needs are not being met – either within the relationship or outside or it. The object of conflict management is to ask for those needs to be met in a way that does not damage your relationship.

Here are some tips that may be useful to manage anger and reduce conflict in relationships.

1. TAKE TIME-OUTS. Disagreements are best dealt with when both parties are in a non-aroused state. Whenever possible, take a time-out to calm your body down. Techniques include breathing, relaxation & visualisation (see separate self-help guide). Strong emotions of anger, grief or anxiety do not make it easy for us to access our rational faculties and so there is little benefit of trying to address disagreements in this condition – it often just escalates into insults and unintentional dagger-throwing. Both of you should respect each other’s need for a time-out; it’s not running away from the issue, but preparing yourself to deal with it in more receptive mode.

2. REFLECT INTERNALLY. Check in on yourself and ask yourself what you think the issue is about. Ask yourself what part you are playing in this – are you misinterpreting what your partner has said? Are you in a bad mood from something else? Are you being reasonable here? Ask yourself if you think it is an issue that is important enough to stand your ground on – can you let this go without resentment or do you need to ask your partner for something? Sometimes we argue out of habit and because it connects us (even though it is negative, at least we both get attention). Ask yourself whether you really need to take up this issue. If so, think about what exactly you need to ask for.

3. EXPLAIN. Avoid presuming that your partner should know what is wrong. Empathy is an elusive concept – it is nearly impossible for another person to truly know what you are experiencing and to give you what you want. It useful if you can ask for what you need.

4. TAKE PERSPECTIVE. There is sometimes great temptation to elevate the stakes in an argument. Threats and ultimatums are damaging to the ego and chip away at the whole of the relationship. Thus, try and keep the argument to the specific issue rather than make the whole relationship at risk. Avoid ‘if you do this one more time…’ ‘I can’t take this any more, I’m leaving’… Each of you should know that however unpleasant this disagreement is, it will not touch the relationship. If the relationship is to end, it should be decided separately to a heated argument.

5. TRY TO PERSONALIZE. The conversation is best approached from a personal angle, rather than blaming your partner. If your partner hears criticism he/she will want to defend himself/herself rather than address the issue. Try and use ‘I feel…’, ‘It hurts me when…’, ‘I would really like it if…’, rather than ‘you make me feel…’, ‘when you do that….’. Try also to avoid generalization such as ‘you always do that..’, ‘you never think…’ – it is certainly hurtful and is usually inaccurate.

6. OWN UP TO MISTAKES. It is not a weakness to accept that you have acted out of line. Owning up to faults and mistakes is helpful to both parties, so long as it is not done out of martyrdom or for manipulative effect. Apologising early can save a lot of unnecessary conflict.

7. INCLUDE SOMETHING POSITIVE. When putting your point across, it brings good results if you can refer to something positive as well. The discussion is unlikely to be rosy, but if you can draw on aspects that you do like, it will make your partner less tense and combative. Putting across negative points in a humorous way can also work. Humour doesn’t mean your partner is trivialising the issue, rather it makes it easier for him/her to confront an issue.

8. FOCUS ON THE PRESENT. By clinging to the painful memory of a past event (no matter how distressing it was) you are impeded from living in the present. You are entitled to a period of grieving and are allowed to make your needs clear to your partner.  Long-held resentment will tarnish a relationship. Try not to use past events as ammunition. Even though it might be a recurring issue, the current disagreement should address the here and now.

9. AIM TO BE HAPPY, NOT TO BE RIGHT. The purpose of approaching conflict is to get to maximum results for both of you. When you argue to win (by point-scoring), the gain is short-term and mostly leaves you feeling worse. When you argue to ask for your needs to be met, it is still unpleasant, but you are working to building better conditions for both of you.

10. AGREE TO DISAGREE. You are entitled to ask your partner to help meet your needs, but you are not in the business of getting your partner to come around to seeing the world as you do. It is fruitless to try to convert them to your philosophy of life. Differences should be embraced – including different sets of interests and activities. Finally, it is not up to your partner to fulfil all of your needs, they also have to be met internally and with other people (family, friends).
Source:Harley Therapy And  Conselling

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Relationships – 10 Signs Your Partner Is Obsessed With You!

Being in a relationship can be such a pleasurable experience, from the unending phone calls, to sweet text messages, and some soft cuddling, and even sometimes the hand-in-hand walking of two love butterflies makes being in a relationship such a sweet experience.

But just when does a relationship turn into an obsession? Gory stories from obsessed relationships are becoming too rampant nowadays. People commit suicide when their partners call it quit! These are obsessed partners who would do anything if the relationship is over, hence they are somewhat aggressive and possessive in the relationship. But do you mind checking into your own relationship right now? Are you obsessed or is your partner obsessed with you?

Here are few clues to know:

1. The Family Deal
When you are just at the early stage of your relationship and your partner thinks meeting your parents is a big freaking deal. That’s way too fast, and this might eventually lead to an emotional disturbance later. You need to slow down.

2. The Looks
Jealous much? Does your partner’s look indicate unnecessary jealousy? Watch for phone patterns too. Are your partner’s voicemails like monologues? Does he/she text you so often you feel like a doctor on call? If your partner is watching your
every move, it’s time to back away … very… slowly…

3. You become your partner’s project
You swear you can remember somehow getting through life without being remote controlled by your partner… But you aren’t sure how, since apparently you need your partner to tell you how to dress, act,
eat and even THINK! It’s like a parasite got in your brain… Say anything, and even pass up your fun time/or time meant to have fun with your friends to go to your partner’s 8-year-old niece’s birthday party. Obsessive lovers often manipulate situations to keep their partners to themselves. WAKE UP!

4. Fear and Loathing
If your buddies can’t stand your partner or pay you a visit whenever your partner is around, then something is not right

5. Public Displays
It’s ridiculous how some peeps BERATE their partners, screeching at them in public like a shopping banshee. If you are repressing a frequent urge to strangle your girlfriend/boyfriend for humiliating you and making huge scenes – guess what? Curb that puppy.

6. The Police Game
When your partner starts to monitor your phone calls. And also sneaks over to read your chats and text messages. He/she wants to know about all your friends and even monitor your daily schedule. Or even start smelling your clothes and underwear!
Obsessive people don’t respect privacy. They run through your phone contacts and will even call friends and relatives to gather information about you.

7. The Relentless Promise
When your partner calls you now and then on the phone, asking you to promise them you’ll never leave them. Or your partner simply
feels inferior without you.

8. You are the ANSWER
The non-obsessed consider the possibility of a future, while the potential bunny-boiler has already made up their minds that THIS IS IT! The obsessive partner has already determined that this is his/her one and only love who will be his/her partner for life
and begins to make plans for the future.

9. No Trust
If your partner can’t get it out of their mind that you are cheating on them and they keep accusing you of having phantom encounters with random people, you might need to have some serious introspection.

10. Forcing the L-word
If your partner makes you say “I Love You” EVERY TIME you talk, especially if it’s a phone call. Or probably they say it and you decide not to say “I love you too!” And your partner immediately thinks you don’t love them anymore, or that you are with
another person. Hey! Hey!! Can you hear me? It’s time to walk away.

Hear this! If you recognize yourself in this list, you might need to step back and think about what emotional feelings of insecurity or low self-esteem that is fueling this behavior. Otherwise, it will keep happening and you’ll keep wondering why you’re always getting dumped.

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For Ladies – 10 Things You Should Never Say To Your Man!!!

FIGHT To keep your relationship healthy and happy, it is advisable to stay away from the following words.

1. “Man up.” This phrase is never, ever appropriate. He is a man. If he’s not meeting your expectations, learn to communicate this clearly and without insult.

2. “We need to talk.” Yes, you should talk to your man. No, you should not warn him that you need to talk about something yet-to-be-described that will likely be uncomfortable. This phrase is the most
likely to shift him into defensive mode. Try a more loving approach and you will surely get better results.

3. “Size doesn’t matter.” If size doesn’t matter, don’t talk about size.

4. “Is she prettier than me?” Or “Do I look fat in this dress?” If the question you are asking him has only one acceptable answer – and if a too-long pause in responding will only feed your insecurities – just trust that his answer would have been the right one and don’t bother to ask it.

5. “You’re just like my ex.” Or “I have had someone better.” You don’t want to be compared to his exes, so don’t compare him to yours. Even if he comes out on top, it’s still an awkward comparison.

6. “Are you really that silly?” Be careful not to use language that belittles your guy. Treat him with respect, even when you are angry or disappointed.

7. “Never mind. I will do it myself.” Don’t dismiss the offers of help from your man. A common love language is an act of service. Don’t deny him the opportunity to serve you. Sometimes it’s nice to feel needed.

8. “I can’t live without you.” Use desperate language with caution, and stay clear of phrases that sound clingy in early stages of the relationship. Let him take the lead when it comes to commitment and promises of a future together.

9. “I am not your mother.” Or “I am just like my mother.” Keep your moms out of it, unless you are actually talking about patterns learned from your respective families of origin.

10. “Nothing is wrong.” Yes, it is. He can’t read your mind. If something is wrong, tell him what’s wrong.

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Relationships – Top 8 Mistakes Married Women Make in Bed

S*x is a beautiful experience in marriage and both the partners should enjoy it. However, if you are not satisfied with the experience then maybe you need to look into the matter. It may not necessarily be your spouse’s fault,maybe there’s something you are not adding to make it more eventful. Try and rethink about all your acts in bed before you draw a conclusion or start with your blame game.

1. Are you responsive?
Are you too quiet or less responsive to his gestures or movements? Maybe you should reciprocate to let him know how it feels. It’s good to let him do his thing, but he will enjoy and make it even more enjoyable for you if you are a bit responsive to his approaches, so the next time he comes around, don’t be quiet.

2. Do u make him feel wanted?
Every partner wants to feel wanted so if you do not do anything then he may be put off completely. Try to tease a little with your hand movements or simply run your fingers gently through his hair to heighten his drive and to make him feel escalated.

3. Are you too shy?
Many women are not comfortable about their body and feel embarrassed when the lights are on. You don’t wish to strip before him as you are too shy. This is the biggest turn off. Shun this inhibition and see your man make fun in bed.

4.Do you lie?
You may not like his moves at all and tell him lies about how you are enjoying it. Stop this and be straight forward with him, but in a subtle manner of course. Sort out some new positions through joint discussions, dig for some in the s*x book or find out from the all-knowing geek (Google) and take pleasure in your sessions together.

5. Are you being too calculative?
It’s not just a process for making babies, and even if it is you will enjoy it more if it’s out of love rather than ‘let’s do it’. Be innovative and experiment to make it a fun filled experience.

6. Is it on the bed always?
Not just new positions try new areas to reignite the fire. It may not be on your bed always, try it on a sofa or a kitchen bench top, or may be the bath tub! Add new twists and fun elements in your s*x life.

7. Too much foreplay?
Women often tend to go for a lot of foreplay and little of main activity as some may consider it awkward. Break the barrier and progress. Too much foreplay might be putting your partner to sleep or at least to his libido for sure.

8. Too much of anything is not good
Avoid moaning even when he is not that interested in doing it. It might be annoying him. Avoid that melodrama and save it for the actual part.

Remember communication is important and it solves all problems including those in bed. Try and sort out the differences by discussing about new ways of rekindling that lost fire in your life. Rectify things before it’s too late

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Virginity: Why The ‘First Time’ Really Matters

The U.S. researchers asked 331 young men and women about how they lost their virginity, including whether they felt scared, pressured, guilty or regretful.

They were also asked about how connected they felt to their partner, including whether they felt respected and loved, and how they felt afterwards.

The volunteers, who answered the questions anonymously, were then asked to fill in an online diary detailing any s*xual experiences they had over the next fortnight.

They were also asked how they would rate their s*xual relationships overall.

In more than two-thirds of cases, the volunteers said they were in a relationship when they lost their virginity.

Analysis of their answers showed that those who were most emotionally satisfied the first time still found their s*x lives the most fulfilling. The same was true of physical satisfaction.

A better first time also tended to lead to fewer feelings of disappointment, the Journal of s*x & Marital Therapy is to report.

Researcher Carrie Smith, of the University of Mississippi, said: ‘These results suggest that one’s first-time s*xual experience is more than just a milestone in development.

‘Rather, it appears to have implications for their s*xual well-being years later.’

Co-researcher Matthew Shaffer, of the University of Tennessee, said that while the study doesn’t prove that a better first time makes for a better s*x life in general, a person’s experience of losing their virginity may set the pattern for years to come.

‘The happier the experience initially, on the whole, the happier in future‘ – s*x Academy author Dr Pam Spurr

‘In essence, first-time s*xual experience may create a general pattern of thought and behaviour that we use to guide us in new s*xual experiences and a framework for our understanding, perception or interpretation of new information concerning se*uality.’

Those taking part in the study were relatively young but the researchers said it is ‘highly plausible’ that the same would be true decades later, with someone’s s*x life in their 40s reflecting their experiences in their teens.

Dr Pam Spurr, an agony aunt and author of s*x Academy, said their theory rings true.

‘The happier the experience initially, on the whole, the happier in future. It just kind of sets you up for good experiences.

‘I also find that when people who had first-time experiences they felt unhappy about, perhaps they felt pressurised, or too young, or felt used because they thought the person was in love with them too but the feeling wasn’t reciprocated, it sets a pattern for feeling they are more likely to make bad choices in future.

‘Losing your virginity is such an important aspect of our development as people, that if your first time is poor, rather than learning from it, a lot of people harbour the negative feelings.’

Previous studies have concluded that most people have s*x for the first time between the ages of 15 and 17, with men more likely to enjoy the experience than women.

In one study, only around a quarter of females said they were ‘considerably’ or ‘extremely’ satisfied physically – the response given by around two-thirds of the men.

Men also found the experience more psychologically satisfying, although the gap between the sexes was smaller.

DAILYMAIL

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For Women: 5 Dangers of Lesbianism

Numerous factors have been shown to be associated with increased risk of various health problems.

Today we present general information about some of the factors that put women at higher risk of cancer. As for lesbian health research in general, information is limited on the prevalence of particular health risk factors among lesbians. The Women’s Health Initiative (WHI) provides one useful source of data for looking at differences between lesbian and heterosexual women in the study in terms of certain health-related risk variables.

1. Religious Implication or Wrath of God

Lev. 18:22, “You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination.”1
Lev. 20:13, “If there is a man who lies with a male as those who lie with a woman, both of them have committed a detestable act; they shall surely be put to death. Their bloodguiltness is upon them”

Unlike other sins, homosexuality has a heavy judgment administered by God Himself upon those who commit it – and support it. This judgment is simple in that those who practice it are given over to their passions – which means that their hearts are allowed to be hardened by their sins.

“For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural, 27 and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error,” (Rom. 1:26-27).

As a result, they can no longer see the error of what they are doing.  They will not seek forgiveness.  They will die in their sins.  They will face God’s holy condemnation.  But, that isn’t all.  In addition to the judgment of being given over to their sin, those involved in it also promote it and condemn others who don’t approve of their behavior.

“…and, although they know the ordinance of God, that those who practice such things are worthy of death, they not only do the same, but also give hearty approval to those who practice them,” (Rom. 1:32).

So, in their hearty approval of homosexuality they encourage others to be trapped in their sinfulness.  They will not trust in Christ’s redemptive work on the cross.  Without Jesus, they will have no forgiveness.  Without forgiveness, they will have no salvation. Without salvation, there is only damnation in eternal hell.  But, we don’t want this for anyone.

2. High Rate of STDs and HIV

They suffer a high rate of STDs due to the unprotected s*x that always occur in a girl to girl sexaul intercourse…they engage in a lot of fondling, intense fingering, mouth-to-v**ina s*x intercourse and mouth-to-anus s*xual intercourse [in which they suck up vaginal and an*l fluids of their partner whom they are not even sure of their s*x life…because the partner might as well be bisuexual meaning…she sleeps with both men and women…and will definitely have unprotected s*x with 4 out of 12 men because of the reluctancy in protected s*x awareness that has gone numb from the already existing unprotected s*x with her female counterparts. and lesbians never keep one partner…they get down one sensing that you are one of them and will suck up all their vaginal and an*l fluids asap…while fingering with either dirty hands or unsterilized s*x toys that must have been used by or one their numerous partners or encounters. thereby making the circulation of STDs and HIV amongst them to be on the high side

3. Overweight.

Body mass index (BMI), an indication of overweight, differed significantly between lifetime lesbians and heterosexual women in the WHI, with a greater proportion of lifetime lesbians having a BMI of more than 27 (52.3% of lifetime lesbians compared to 45.8% of heterosexual women).

4. History of Pregnancy.

Women who reported having a lesbian s*xual identity were least likely to have children (30%), and those reporting a heterosexual identity were most likely to have children (73%). Slightly more than half (58%) of those reporting any lesbian same-s*x orientation (identity, behavior, or desire) indicated that they had biological children. Thus, although lesbians are less likely to report having biological children than are heterosexual women, there are still substantial numbers of lesbians who are parents, particularly if these figures include adoptive or other nonbiological parents. In the WHI sample, lesbians were much less likely to have ever been pregnant than were heterosexual women. These differences were particularly pronounced for lifetime lesbians of whom 34.1% had previously been pregnant, compared to 61.2% of the mature lesbians and 89.9% of the heterosexual women.

5. The Health Impacts of Stress

Lesbians, similar to other stigmatized individuals, likely experience stress related to the difficulties of living in a homophobic society. Stress may result from the burden of keeping one’s lesbian identity secret from family or coworkers, being excluded by physicians from making health care decisions for a gravely ill lesbian partner or, among many other factors, being the target of violence or other hate crimes. Hostility and isolation are very potent forms of stress that contribute to allostatic load by leading to elevated levels of the stress hormones (McEwen, 1998; Powch and Houston, 1996).

Although the precise health effects of stress on lesbians have not yet been examined systematically, some hypotheses can be made about their possible health risk based on information about both the stress effects of discrimination on other groups and the stress effects of socioeconomic status.9 It can be hypothesized that lesbians who experience such forms of psychosocial stress sustain negative effects similar to those of other groups that experience discrimination.

It can also be hypothesized that stress effects may be greatest for lesbians who are subject to multiple forms of discrimination.

Source: Ladun Liadi’s Blog

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Some Facts You Never Noticed When Locking Lips

Oh, yes. Osculation, the scientific term for kíssing, in many ways says everything about your compatibility with your mate and the health of your relationship.

Curious to know what happens inside our brains and bodies when we do it? Wondering whether a kiss means more to you than to your guy, or whether you can make your make-out session even better? Read on.

Kissing Isn’t Just About Chemistry
While two strangers might serendipitously find themselves chemically compatible, more often the best kísses grow out of an emotional connection and ambience, Kirshenbaum says. ‘So much of a great kíss is understanding the needs and desires of another person — there’s no one-size-fits-all formula to it,’ she says. How-to guides ‘focus on where to put your hand or how to set the mood, when so much of it is intuitive that you make the person comfortable, secure and safe. It’s an ultimate expression of how you feel about them.’

Even a Light Lip-Brushing is a Huge Turn-on for Our Brains
‘It probably depends on who you ask — it’s culturally influenced,’ Kirshenbaum says. The famous Indian sëx text the Kama Sutra advises going for the lips, of course, as well as the inside of the mouth, the br**sts, the throat and most places on the face. Science also provides some clues: It turns out that a disproportionate amount of brain space is taken up with processing information from the lips compared to the rest of our bodies. ‘Just a light brush on them stimulates a very large part of the brain — an area even more expansive than would be activated by sëxual stimulation below the belt,’ Kirshenbaum writes.

It’s an Essential Ingredient for a Long-Lasting Relationship

If you’re looking for longevity with your honey, make time for kissing. Regular lip-locks signify a healthy relationship and perpetuate affection and attachment, Kirshenbaum says. Oxytocin, the same hormone that makes us bond to a new love, also helps keep us attached. ‘Once the novelty wears off and romance wanes, it’s that commitment that keeps a couple together, it keeps that loving feeling alive,’ Kirshenbaum says. ‘Kissing is such a good way of stimulating oxytocin and can really do the trick.’ Among long-term couples, kissing drops off over time, she adds, so make a point of including it your day.

How We Smell Matters
On a superficial level, our schnoz tells us whether we’re dealing with Pig Pen or Old Spice Man. But it’s also looking for clues about whether we’re kissing a potential baby-making match — in the DNA department, opposites attract and our noses seem to discern genetic compatibility from a partner’s natural scent. ‘Hygiene is important for everyone because it’s the first indicator of whether this is worth pursuing or not,’ Kirshenbaum says. ‘Beyond that, scent seems to be an unconscious way someone’s genetics and immunity are expressed.’ If you are worried that you’re missing crucial info in your man’s haze of aftershave (or that you’re covering up your own with perfume), fear not, Kirshenbaum says: ‘If you spend enough time with someone, you’ll notice their natural scent over time.’

Want to Make Your Lips More Alluring? Wear Red
There may be something to women trying to make their lips look like Angelina Jolie’s. A woman’s lips begin to thin with age as her estrogen levels decline, so full lips could signal fertility, Kirshenbaum writes. But too much plump could backfire: ‘If they get too big or out of sync with the rest of your face, there’s a chance of having the opposite effect.’ To avoid turning off the very people you want to attract, Kirshenbaum suggests playing up your natural assets with bright, red lipstick — the color is consistently rated the most alluring in research.

Kissing Can Be Addictive — at Least Initially
Ever kiss someone and can’t get enough? Chalk it up to dopamine. This feel-good brain chemical kicks into high gear during a kiss, making us elated and even obsessed with our partner. While that feeling is similar to addiction, dopamine is more abundant in the early stages of a relationship, and declines as the novelty of our partner wears off. But because dopamine is more plentiful when we’re with a new love, it may play a role in the addictive nature of adultery, Kirshenbaum says. ‘It can be part of the reason why some people stray: The novelty has such a big role in the feelings associated with [the affair],’ she says.

Kissing While (Mildly) Intoxicated Can Up the Passion
To drink or not to drink? On the one hand, drugs and alcohol stimulate some of the same brain chemicals as a kiss, so you could mistake your substance-induced high for passionate feelings about your partner, Kirshenbaum says. But, that said, if you’re looking for something casual, kissing can be better after a drink or two (and alcohol can release your inhibitions, making a kiss more likely). ‘It can wind up feeling better or worse — it depends on how drugs affect your sense of reality,’ Kirshenbaum says. ‘Kissing acts as a drug on top of everything else, so when there’s a lot riding on it, go with most accurate impression of what you feel,’ which is probably more obvious when you’re sober.

Kíssing Can Actually Help You Make Up
Forget chocolate and flowers — just plant one on her lips. Though a woman may profess to be unmoved by a kíss from the man she’s fighting with, research has found that a smooch (or a few) paves the path to forgiveness, Kirshenbaum writes. The effect may come from the oxytocin that’s released during kissing. Kíssing may reduce levels of cortisol — the stress hormone — coursing through our bodies during a fight. ‘Reducing stress is a pretty good way to amend a fractured relationship,’ Kirshenbaum says.

Kíssing Never Gets Old — Even When We Do
While there hasn’t been much study of kíssing and longevity, there’s reason to think that kíssing is vital — and enjoyable — throughout our lives, Kirshenbaum says. ‘kíssing is so important to long-term bonds,’ she says. ‘It helps to maintain a relationship.’ So she suspects kíssing plays an important role from birth to death.

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This Is The Reason Why Men Who Date Slim Girls Do Better In Bed

Researchers found the slimmer a woman’s waist, the better a man’s séxual function and satisfaction

It may be that we are programmed to see partners with abdominal fat as at higher risk of disease

Or, more likely, ‘slimmer women are more attractive’.

If you don’t agree please tell us your own reason. RIGHT NOW!!!

TUM

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8 Ways To Enjoy s*x On Your Wedding Night!!!

Whether you have never had s*x or have had it with each other a million times before you get married, you’ll want wedding night s*x to sizzle. A little bit of planning and a whole lot of love will do the trick.  Your goal should be to woo each other with romantic gestures, genuine sentiment, and hot passion. This guide to your first time having s*x as married people should help –

1. Romance each other.
s*x is nothing without romance, especially on a day as romantic as your wedding. You must do whatever it takes to infuse the night with romance (even if you start to feel as exhausted from a full day of celebrating). The wedding night, after all, is just for the two of you.

2. Express your love.
Find the perfect way to demonstrate how happy you are to have married your spouse. Hugs, kisses, or whispering sweet nothings might work. The key to finding the perfect expression of love, however, is knowing your lover. What actions send the message to him or her that you are in love?

3. Leave a love letter under your spouse’s pillow.
A handwritten note, especially in the age of e-mail and text messages, is heartfelt and meaningful. If you never write your spouse a love letter, you should do so on your wedding. Leaving such a note under your spouse’s pillow ahead of your passionate night together is thoughtful and perfectly timed.

4. Set the mood.
Preparation can make all the difference when it comes to wedding night s*x. After the ceremony and festivities, you might be exhausted. But you can make sure there will be champagne on ice, rose petals on the floor and a few candles. Either take care of it yourself the morning of the wedding or ask someone you trust to do it for you. Make sure you pack your fancy underwear and lingerie for the wedding night, too. If you forget that, however, indecency always works well.

5. Prepare your body for s*xual pleasure.
If its your first time having s*x (or the first time for your spouse), you should prepare your body for s*x. Women can feel pain the first times they have s*x, but there are things you can do to minimize the pain – from going slow and being patient to using lubricant. Get the details on what can be done long before the wedding night itself. Spend lots of time on foreplay to make sure everyone is hot and ready to go.

6. Set the standard for s*x.
Think of your wedding night as the first night of the rest of your s*x life. From the start of your s*xual relationship, you should be open and comfortable with one another. You should also take responsibility for your own s*xual pleasure. In other words, make a plan on how you are going to continue to pleasure one another and keep things exciting.

7. Always strive for improvement.
s*x, like most things in life, can always get better. Living out reasonable fantasies, using s*x toys, or simply talking might make your s*x life go from boring to spicy. The hard part is determining what the two of you need and how to merge those needs.

8. Keep the passion alive.
Married s*x runs the risk of getting boring. For couples who have had lots of s*x ahead of the wedding night, this can happen from the very first night. But you can do something about a lack of passion. Court one another – and put the zing back in your s*x life.

​

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Relationships: Top 10 Signs Of A Desperate Man

In the dating world, a desperate man is one who is over-eager, anxious, presumptuous and willing to be with any woman to avoid being alone. Women can spot desperation in a man from miles away, and if you suffer from it, you’ll never stand a chance at getting any girl.

A man who is desperate may have a strong want and desire to have a relationship; however, due to having little experience in the romance and dating department, his behaviors can indicate low-self esteem and a host of other issues that turn women off and can actually be viewed as creepy and disturbing.

Here are 10 warning signs that can help you determine if you fit under the portrait of a desperate man:

1. Dropping your standards
Desperate men are prepared to drop their dating standards to fill the huge emotional void in their life. Whether they want children or intimacy the desperate man will date who they have too to avoid being alone. They will be with any woman just for the sake of being attached while failing to realize that it’s better to be single and wait for the girl who is their type.

2. Constantly fishing for compliments
The desperate man has low self-esteem, a poor self-image and needs to constantly hear how great he is and be assured of things. It doesn’t take long for women to get tired of constantly stroking your ego.

3. Overly Calling/Emailing/Texting Her
If you want to run a woman off quickly, one of the best ways to do it is to overly call, email or send text messages early in a relationship, especially when she hasn’t returned any of your messages. The desperate man makes the fatal mistake of calling the woman he’s dating and asking “Did you just call me?” after receiving a call from an unrecognized number.

4. You’re always available
Always being available makes women think that you don’t have a life of your own and actually lessens your own attractiveness, making you far less desirable. Being a challenge to women makes you more desirable.

5. You move too fast in relationships
The desperate man will spend every single day with a new girl for weeks and never know basic information about her that normally should have been covered in the first few dates. Although finding love is based on each individual relationship and some people move quicker than others, the desperate man will move so quickly with things like intimacy and s*x that he will turn a woman off with his frantic desire for a relationship.

6. You’re constantly buying her gifts
A desperate man constantly showers a woman with gifts without realizing that eventually she will become less thrilled and even annoyed receiving them. Even though the thought is nice, after a while the concept will begin to lose its meaning and she is going to get tired of always getting something.

7. Not giving her enough time and space
Desperate men tend to be a bit on the invasive side when they always need to hang out at a woman’s home for hours on end, not respecting the fact that she has a life of her own life. Women don’t always want to hang out with you day in and day out and will quickly end relationships with guys not respecting their need for space.

8. You’re in constant agreement with everything she says
Desperate men just sit there and agree with everything a woman says, thinking that’s what she wants. In reality, women want someone who is going to stimulate their minds and are not turned on by men they can completely control has no backbone.

9. You make her the center of your life too fast
Desperate men tend to make the first woman that will go out with them the only person in their life and not take the time to continue dating and getting to know other women. Telling a woman “You’re the only woman in the world for me” before the three-week period will have her running for the hills.

10. Being overly nice all the time
If a guy is too nice, too accommodating and tries to be the most giving person to a woman, she will begin to think he’s being insincere and will lose romantic interest quickly. She’ll also think that he’s only trying to achieve one thing: to get into her pants.

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For Married Couples -7 Reasons You Should Be Having More s*x!!!

Good news! s*x doesn’t just feel great, it’s also good for you. As if you needed an excuse, here are seven healthy reasons to grab your wife or husby and head for the
bedroom.

1. s*x Reduces Stress
Feeling stressed? Some s*xual healing may be just the relief you crave. According to a study conducted in 2006, when subjects had s*x, their blood pressure reacted less to stressful activities (public speaking and mental arithmetic) than when they engaged in other s*xual activities or none at all.
Among the possible reasons: “It’s a pleasurable, enjoyable activity and many people sleep better after s*x,” says a professor of human se*uality and family relations.

2. s*x Burns Calories
Okay, we can’t claim that s*x exercise burns as many calories as running or an aerobics class, but getting between the sheets for an hour will burn about 275 calories (for a 150-pound person). Now, don’t expect it to affect the scale that much—you need to
burn 3,500 calories to lose a pound. But every little bit helps; and it’s a heck of a lot more fun that sit-ups. Additionally, when you’re physically active during s*x, your cells, muscles and organs are getting fresh oxygen, which is good for your body.

3. Orgasms Can Help Reduce Pain
If you’re thinking of laying on that old excuse, “Not tonight, honey, I have a headache,” maybe you should reconsider. In her latest book, The Science of climax,
co-author Beverly Whipple, explains that at climax, the “love hormone” oxytocin surges and there is a marked reduction in sensitivity to pain, to about half that of the resting level. And although relief of migraine
through climax is less reliable and effective than relief through prescription drugs, the analgesic effect is more rapid.

That said, any effects would be limited, cautions Milhausen. “During the time of climax and directly thereafter, it can increase your tolerance to pain, but it’s not a long-term solution. You can’t run a marathon and avoid pain because you had s*x hours before the race.”

4. s*x Can Boost Your Immunity
People who have s*x once or twice a week had higher immunoglobulin (an antibody that fights against diseases) readings than those who had s*x less than once a week or not at all. They also had higher measurements, however, than those who had s*x three or more times a week.

5. s*x Can Make You Look Younger
Forget lotions and potions. The secret to the fountain of youth lies between your thighs. Men and women who reported having s*x an average of four times a week looked approximately 10 years younger than they really were. Hormones such as the growth hormone are partially behind the effect. However, casual s*x with multiple partners
may be stressful and lead to premature aging.

6. s*x Can Help Lower Men’s Risk of Prostate Cancer
In 2003, a research team led by professor Graham Giles, director of the Epidemiology Centre at the Cancer Council Victoria in Australia found that the more frequently men between the ages of 20 and 50 release, the less likely they are to develop prostate cancer. Men in their 20s who ejaculated on average seven times a week or more were one-third less likely to develop aggressive prostate cancer when compared with men who ejaculated less than three
times a week at this age. One possible reason may be that frequent ejaculation prevents carcinogens from building up in the prostatic ducts.

7. s*x Can Strengthen Your Relationship
Maybe s*x can’t fix everything, but the oxytocin released during climax brings about pair bonding, s*xual satisfaction and relationship satisfaction are inter connected. “If things are going really well for you in the bedroom, that will likely filter into other areas of your relationship. Couples in good marriages are healthier than their unattached peers. They live longer, and good relationships buffer them against a variety of illnesses.

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